The Unmotivated Child

Providence is not a motivated learner. She just doesn't care if she is not interested in it. In class, I imagine she would go to that magical world she has invented in her head. Sadly for her, she can't do that when it is just me and her.

I have found that I walk a very fine line between pushing her enough and pushing her too far. When the later happens, she shuts down and stops working. She doesn't want to try again or practice. If it's not easy there isn't anything in this world that will get her to do it. At least until she wants to.

I have to watch her closely. I have to pay attention to her frustration level, which presents itself as refusal to work. And then we stop. This is homeschooling, I don't have to make her keep going. She's not going to learn it anyway, if it becomes a battle.

I think that is a big problem in public education. I worked with kids with learning disabilities for a few years. They were all perfectly capable of doing everything given to them, but they didn't think they were capable. Too many years of hearing they were lazy or wrong made them feel like they shouldn't even try. And I have a feeling it started in Kindergarten. Each year another layer of feeling stupid was added and by the time they were in 8th grade the were DONE. No point in trying, if you are just going to fail, right?

I don't want that for Providence. I want her to feel capable and she wouldn't in a classroom of 22 kids. She won't work when Jackson is in the room. I am thinking it is because she is intimidated by him.

We spend a lot of the day letting her gain confidence in what she is passionate about. She plays and imagines a lot. We have fun coloring and painting and making messes and learning about science stuff that she loves.

Most importantly, I am learning to respect her when she tells me she is done. It takes a lot of self-control to not say, "Come on, let's just do this one more thing." It's never a good idea, because then we have a power struggle on our hands. "Are you done or do you want to do this?" works much better.

She will learn how to read and write. She will learn how to do all sorts of math. She will learn, but it won't count for anything if she doesn't think she is capable.